The sad day was passing and the happiness is coming. Feel so good recently, no quarrel, everyday end up with happy day. And nowadays he also starts to be the person who starts a message, so happy with it. Actually what I want is not much, just hope he can treat me good good then is enough already. But then maybe someone will say, how you define ‘GOOD’ ? Yup, it is difficult, different people different view. Haha hopefully his definition will be the same as me lar.
Seriously, I can feel this week he got treat me much better, I am happier than last time, don’t know whether he have the same feeling with me? But there’s still a problem, which is we still stuck on decide something, I can’t make a decision and the same goes to him. When this happen, both of us will keep quiet and this is what I don’t wish to see. How to change this situation? I still don’t have any idea ah.
One week was passed, it is really fast. Now can rest for awhile, because there is no test for the coming 2 weeks. But we need to submit business plan on Thursday and digital assignment on week 12. Hopefully can done it earlier so that can concentrate on statistic and electronic test.
Final time table was out, it is too bad my final paper is on 2 of December he is on 29 of November. What he gonna do after he finished his last paper? They want to go genting after final paper, but my paper will be last on 2 of December, feel so guilty need them to wait for me. But I really hope to go genting with him for a long time already, this is a good chance, if I miss it, I don’t know when is the next time will be. Hopefully this will plan will be success.
Bought a rice cooker, thinking to cook something for him. 茶叶蛋，肉骨茶are the only two things I think to cook. Really hope to do something for him for a long time already, but I scare not delicious ah, every time I do something for him he also say not nice one. And finally I had cook茶叶蛋today. The first time I cook something for him, don’t know delicious or not, but I know there’s still room of improvement, hope next time will be more delicious.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
失败女友
事情怎么会演变成现在这个模样，
我真的不知道为什么。
打电话，你不接；
写信息，你不回；
最后关机了。
很想知道，我真的那么让人讨厌吗？
第一次看他那么生气，
而且我不知道自己错在哪里了。
以前就算生气他依然会接我的电话，会回我信息。
无论什么原因使他那么生气，
现在的我只希望他可以回复我的信息，
回个电话，
给我个机会对他说声对不起。
但这一次，他很坚持；
就算他知道我人不舒服，他还是那么的坚决。
除了等待，
现在的我能做些什么吗？
我真的很想做些什么，
但是看着时间一分一秒，
滴滴答答的走着，
电话还是没有动静，
不曾响过。
第一次，觉得身为别人女友的我真的很失败，彻底失败了。
第二次的恋爱失败后，
我一直都在提醒自己要做个明白事理的女友，
好让我的男友和我一起没有压力。
努力了很久，
但是我想我还是失败了，
永远都达不到一个理想女友的条件。
如果有天他不经意的来到这里，我真的很想告诉他：
“我真的很爱他，很希望我们可以开开心心的一起，
对不起，亲爱的！”
我真的不知道为什么。
打电话，你不接；
写信息，你不回；
最后关机了。
很想知道，我真的那么让人讨厌吗？
第一次看他那么生气，
而且我不知道自己错在哪里了。
以前就算生气他依然会接我的电话，会回我信息。
无论什么原因使他那么生气，
现在的我只希望他可以回复我的信息，
回个电话，
给我个机会对他说声对不起。
但这一次，他很坚持；
就算他知道我人不舒服，他还是那么的坚决。
除了等待，
现在的我能做些什么吗？
我真的很想做些什么，
但是看着时间一分一秒，
滴滴答答的走着，
电话还是没有动静，
不曾响过。
第一次，觉得身为别人女友的我真的很失败，彻底失败了。
第二次的恋爱失败后，
我一直都在提醒自己要做个明白事理的女友，
好让我的男友和我一起没有压力。
努力了很久，
但是我想我还是失败了，
永远都达不到一个理想女友的条件。
如果有天他不经意的来到这里，我真的很想告诉他：
“我真的很爱他，很希望我们可以开开心心的一起，
对不起，亲爱的！”
Monday, September 13, 2010
what i plan to do during holiday
Finally I am going to find my friend al Johor, stay at her house for 3 days, it is quite good feeling. That day shopping alone at Skudai Parade while waiting her brother-in-law comes to fetch me. Long time doesn’t shopping alone already, but don’t know why this time I don’t like the feeling. Feel myself very pity in shopping alone although sometime I do enjoy to shopping alone. For the first time I drive outside UTM, I am not that scare already.
Enjoy for 3days, should back to normal life already. Feel like my progress is a bit late, I doesn’t follow up everything that I had plan before holiday start, I need to rush a bit, so that everythings will be in progress.
So sorry to him, because I really don’t know will make him feel unhappy because of the sad emotion. And I also just realise it after he inform me about it. I promise to myself, no more sad face. Although it is hurt, but I like the feeling that he can telling me the truth, so that I can make a changes.
Suddenly think of going back home, but I know it is too late, today is Monday already, I don’t have much time to finish up every things. What is the reason why I stay here? I think I am the only one who knows the actual reason. When they asking me this question, I just answering them with I want to have a good rest here and also no money. Seriously, this is not my purpose.
At first, hope I can do the autocar during this holiday, but due to some reason, I give up already. Second, I hope I can finish doing notes for electronic and statistic, so that I can teach him when test2 is come. I think that’s the only thing I had done. Economic I still haven’t finished yet, test is coming. Third, although I know it is impossible, but I still hope miracle will happen. Haiz, feel myself is so so so stupid!! Miracle will never happen, please wake up!! Finally, I hope I can get slim during this holiday, but I failed again. Due to jogging, my heart problem occurs again and my pimples come out again, so I decided to give up jogging instead of give up cure my face.
Recently, walk in a lot facial central, get a lot information and package from them. All is very expensive, but I know if I not taking the treatment, then my face will not cure that easy or maybe won’t cure. By considering the distance factor, I decided to take the TamanU package, it cost me about RM1000. But I have no choice on it except I don’t want cure my face, I think nobody would like to have a girlfriend who face like me ba? The problem comes again, the treatment needs about 2hours, is he willing to fetch me there and then come to fetch me back after 2hours? I haven’t discussed with him yet.
Yesterday waiting his message until fall asleep. Why don’t give him a message before I sleep? Because I found that I am the one who always message him when the holiday starts, he only did it once. It was different with what I promise to him before, so I needs to control myself again. 5more days to go. Hope everything will be better.
Enjoy for 3days, should back to normal life already. Feel like my progress is a bit late, I doesn’t follow up everything that I had plan before holiday start, I need to rush a bit, so that everythings will be in progress.
So sorry to him, because I really don’t know will make him feel unhappy because of the sad emotion. And I also just realise it after he inform me about it. I promise to myself, no more sad face. Although it is hurt, but I like the feeling that he can telling me the truth, so that I can make a changes.
Suddenly think of going back home, but I know it is too late, today is Monday already, I don’t have much time to finish up every things. What is the reason why I stay here? I think I am the only one who knows the actual reason. When they asking me this question, I just answering them with I want to have a good rest here and also no money. Seriously, this is not my purpose.
At first, hope I can do the autocar during this holiday, but due to some reason, I give up already. Second, I hope I can finish doing notes for electronic and statistic, so that I can teach him when test2 is come. I think that’s the only thing I had done. Economic I still haven’t finished yet, test is coming. Third, although I know it is impossible, but I still hope miracle will happen. Haiz, feel myself is so so so stupid!! Miracle will never happen, please wake up!! Finally, I hope I can get slim during this holiday, but I failed again. Due to jogging, my heart problem occurs again and my pimples come out again, so I decided to give up jogging instead of give up cure my face.
Recently, walk in a lot facial central, get a lot information and package from them. All is very expensive, but I know if I not taking the treatment, then my face will not cure that easy or maybe won’t cure. By considering the distance factor, I decided to take the TamanU package, it cost me about RM1000. But I have no choice on it except I don’t want cure my face, I think nobody would like to have a girlfriend who face like me ba? The problem comes again, the treatment needs about 2hours, is he willing to fetch me there and then come to fetch me back after 2hours? I haven’t discussed with him yet.
Yesterday waiting his message until fall asleep. Why don’t give him a message before I sleep? Because I found that I am the one who always message him when the holiday starts, he only did it once. It was different with what I promise to him before, so I needs to control myself again. 5more days to go. Hope everything will be better.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Good day
Today is a good day, wake up in 9.30am, although headache but I am happy. Because yesterday we sms until I sleep, long time no like that liao. Finally I failed to control myself from sms him. But don’t know why today he is so good, sms with me from 1pm until 9pm non-stop. Last time at most he will accompany me until 5pm then he will tell me he want go to take a nap, but today he didn’t take a nap because accompany me? So touch ah:)
Seriously I like the feeling, but last time he did mention that he don’t like to sms all the time, so tomorrow I think I should control myself already. Sometime I will think that last time before we together I can sms him all the time and he also will reply me all the time but why after we together I can’t do that anymore? After think twice then I know why, because I want be a considerable’s girl friend. Last time we are just friend, maybe he don’t dare to reject me or tell me the truth, but now I am his girl friend so he telling me the truth, I should glad that he will tell me the truth. Since he is telling me the truth then I will try my best to not doing that anymore lor. This is same as when he wants me to keep fit, then I will try my best to achieved it although sometime it is quite difficult. Like today, I feel tired when I wanna go for jogging, but I insist to go just because I had promise him to do so.
Today heart become more pain after come back from jogging, more serious than last few days, I also don’t know why. Suddenly think of last time during my diploma life, got one night also like that, can’t breathe during midnight, it is really scare me ah. I wish this won’t come to me again ah. Don’t dare to tell him about it, I think if he knows about it then he maybe will not allow me to go jogging anymore. Like that my become slimmer dream will never come true already lar.
Feel weird why our floor always got guys, i am actually scared, so don’t dare to go out of my room if not necessary. Hope everything will go smooth during this holiday ah.
Yesterday someone asking me a question, did you go to ah fai’s house? I answer no, the next question, did he come to your house? I answer no. Then today another people ask me, why don’t want got to your boy friend house during this holiday? Haiz, these two persons make me think of the question again. I already promise to myself don’t want think of this problem anymore ler, why you all want to make me think of it again oh? So sad:(
Yesterday suddenly something appears in my mind. Which is asking him to go genting next week. But it’s just a dream lar, go to check genting website see if got hotel or not but cant load that page and I also don’t dare to asking him. I know he want stay at home for his holiday. So just continue dreaming ba. As long as sometime he sms with me jiu enough already lor..
He say he will jealous if I going out lunch with other guys, so I think I should not going out them during this holiday except got girls lar. At the same time, he told me that he will follow me and do the same thing as well, is it he also wants go out with girls? Seriously I don’t care if he going out with other girls, but I will very care if he go out with HER. Ya, until today I still care of this, I still can’t pass myself. He didn’t reply my message after I tell him that he cannot go out with someone, is it he angry already? I know I should believe on him, but in this case I don’t believe her. So sorry to say that, but it is a truth. I hope he will understand my feeling.
Seriously I like the feeling, but last time he did mention that he don’t like to sms all the time, so tomorrow I think I should control myself already. Sometime I will think that last time before we together I can sms him all the time and he also will reply me all the time but why after we together I can’t do that anymore? After think twice then I know why, because I want be a considerable’s girl friend. Last time we are just friend, maybe he don’t dare to reject me or tell me the truth, but now I am his girl friend so he telling me the truth, I should glad that he will tell me the truth. Since he is telling me the truth then I will try my best to not doing that anymore lor. This is same as when he wants me to keep fit, then I will try my best to achieved it although sometime it is quite difficult. Like today, I feel tired when I wanna go for jogging, but I insist to go just because I had promise him to do so.
Today heart become more pain after come back from jogging, more serious than last few days, I also don’t know why. Suddenly think of last time during my diploma life, got one night also like that, can’t breathe during midnight, it is really scare me ah. I wish this won’t come to me again ah. Don’t dare to tell him about it, I think if he knows about it then he maybe will not allow me to go jogging anymore. Like that my become slimmer dream will never come true already lar.
Feel weird why our floor always got guys, i am actually scared, so don’t dare to go out of my room if not necessary. Hope everything will go smooth during this holiday ah.
Yesterday someone asking me a question, did you go to ah fai’s house? I answer no, the next question, did he come to your house? I answer no. Then today another people ask me, why don’t want got to your boy friend house during this holiday? Haiz, these two persons make me think of the question again. I already promise to myself don’t want think of this problem anymore ler, why you all want to make me think of it again oh? So sad:(
Yesterday suddenly something appears in my mind. Which is asking him to go genting next week. But it’s just a dream lar, go to check genting website see if got hotel or not but cant load that page and I also don’t dare to asking him. I know he want stay at home for his holiday. So just continue dreaming ba. As long as sometime he sms with me jiu enough already lor..
He say he will jealous if I going out lunch with other guys, so I think I should not going out them during this holiday except got girls lar. At the same time, he told me that he will follow me and do the same thing as well, is it he also wants go out with girls? Seriously I don’t care if he going out with other girls, but I will very care if he go out with HER. Ya, until today I still care of this, I still can’t pass myself. He didn’t reply my message after I tell him that he cannot go out with someone, is it he angry already? I know I should believe on him, but in this case I don’t believe her. So sorry to say that, but it is a truth. I hope he will understand my feeling.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
~Second day~
Second day of holiday, i also don't know what i had done in this two day. Go jogging for two days already, long time din go for jogging, 1st day jogging make my whole body very pain, but because of him, i will continue to do so. I want become slimmer as he request, but is it jogging will make me become slim?? I think not enough, i should control my meal, maybe learn from hru, become vegetarian is a good choice.
Don't know why my heart starts pain again, but not very serious, so i didn't plan to tell him this, because I don't want he worry about me. Although every time he also didn’t say he is worry me, but i know actually he did worry of me. Just let him enjoy his holiday at his home.
That’s another reason I decided to not sms him during this holiday, don’t want disturb his life during this holiday. Even though sometime I will take my phone and type a message when I miss him, but in the end I will delete it. I don’t know whether this decision correct or not, but I did tell him before, if he miss me or want to chat with me, of course I am willing to chat with him, so what I do is just waiting for his massage.
So sorry to him, because last few days I keep on saying want go his home again. Last time promise him won’t mention about this topic anymore, but I failed to keep my promise, so sorry. I am trying to control myself already. But because of everyone asking me to go their house when I say I am not going back home during this holiday, then I think of it again:( I don’t know what’s the reason he not allow me to go, maybe because of his mother not allow him to pak tuo during study time, maybe because it is not a suitable time, maybe because I am not a good girlfriend so he don’t dare to bring me back, or maybe because i am not beautiful enough, he scare his mother wont accept me. No matter what is the reason, as long as this is what he want then I will just follow, i know he have his own reason to do so, I don’t want make him trouble. Haiz, try to control yourself ah!!
This time is 2 weeks holiday, I believe that time will pass very fast, last time 3 months holiday also no problem, this time should not be a problem ba. Jia You!!
Don't know why my heart starts pain again, but not very serious, so i didn't plan to tell him this, because I don't want he worry about me. Although every time he also didn’t say he is worry me, but i know actually he did worry of me. Just let him enjoy his holiday at his home.
That’s another reason I decided to not sms him during this holiday, don’t want disturb his life during this holiday. Even though sometime I will take my phone and type a message when I miss him, but in the end I will delete it. I don’t know whether this decision correct or not, but I did tell him before, if he miss me or want to chat with me, of course I am willing to chat with him, so what I do is just waiting for his massage.
So sorry to him, because last few days I keep on saying want go his home again. Last time promise him won’t mention about this topic anymore, but I failed to keep my promise, so sorry. I am trying to control myself already. But because of everyone asking me to go their house when I say I am not going back home during this holiday, then I think of it again:( I don’t know what’s the reason he not allow me to go, maybe because of his mother not allow him to pak tuo during study time, maybe because it is not a suitable time, maybe because I am not a good girlfriend so he don’t dare to bring me back, or maybe because i am not beautiful enough, he scare his mother wont accept me. No matter what is the reason, as long as this is what he want then I will just follow, i know he have his own reason to do so, I don’t want make him trouble. Haiz, try to control yourself ah!!
This time is 2 weeks holiday, I believe that time will pass very fast, last time 3 months holiday also no problem, this time should not be a problem ba. Jia You!!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Weird Personality
Recently feel like very sad once I am alone. Maybe more accurate is when he is not beside me. Going for the class with a bad mood, crying alone in the toilet, I really don’t know why this will happened on me, is it I am too stress or what? But why once I saw him my mood will become good? When facing others, I even don’t know how to smile, but once I met him, I will be happy, at least can saw my smile. Like today, walking around at FKE for about one hour, I don’t know where should I go and finally I walked to P16 and find him although that time his class still haven’t finished, I just hope that I can see him as early as possible.
Feel like everyone around me are pretending themselves, even someone close to me also the same, the only person I can trust is him. Seriously I don’t like this kind of situation, but I think this is life, everyone is selfish. I always convince people to voice out the truth even it will hurt others, but I can’t do it myself. Yup, I am bu shuang with her during lab, she choose to do something that she like to do, and keep something she dislike to others then she just keep on chatting with someone else besides. Why she never think that those things she like people may interested also and those things she don’t like people also don’t like to do. We are one group, why can’t you think of others? That’s why I don’t like to talk much with her recently ba.
I really don’t know how to pretending myself when I dislike the person. I think in this situation, I really not that pro if compare to them. Behind the person can keep on saying their bad thing, but in front of the person can be very good with the person. Why they can act in two faces? Should I learn from them? Suddenly feel like I am lost in my life. I don’t know how to control my feeling in front of others, tears much easier to drop down. I think I will fail in my life soon.
The only thing in my brain is him. Every time going out with him I will stay happy, once leave him I will become so sad. I need a big hug from him, but he never gives it. Maybe in front of him I always like a happy gal, so he never realise that I am sad actually. But I don’t dare to tell him all this things, I scare will spoil his mood, I just hope he will always stay happy. This is me, always want people do something, but I am the one who can’t achieve it.
Two more days, holiday will start soon and he will leave me and back to KL. For the coming two weeks I will be alone, this is what I have chosen, I chose to stay here, my choice, can’t blame anyone and I also won’t ask him to stay here accompany me although sometime I will say like that, but it is actually just a joking. I know he is already long time didn’t go back to his home, he is missing his home and I believe his mother also miss her son so much. From the starting I already know this is a difficult way to go, but I choose to believe, I believe miracle will happen, but I don’t know when is the day, and also I not sure I will maintain until the day come or not, but at least I try already.
I will try to find back the normal me…
Feel like everyone around me are pretending themselves, even someone close to me also the same, the only person I can trust is him. Seriously I don’t like this kind of situation, but I think this is life, everyone is selfish. I always convince people to voice out the truth even it will hurt others, but I can’t do it myself. Yup, I am bu shuang with her during lab, she choose to do something that she like to do, and keep something she dislike to others then she just keep on chatting with someone else besides. Why she never think that those things she like people may interested also and those things she don’t like people also don’t like to do. We are one group, why can’t you think of others? That’s why I don’t like to talk much with her recently ba.
I really don’t know how to pretending myself when I dislike the person. I think in this situation, I really not that pro if compare to them. Behind the person can keep on saying their bad thing, but in front of the person can be very good with the person. Why they can act in two faces? Should I learn from them? Suddenly feel like I am lost in my life. I don’t know how to control my feeling in front of others, tears much easier to drop down. I think I will fail in my life soon.
The only thing in my brain is him. Every time going out with him I will stay happy, once leave him I will become so sad. I need a big hug from him, but he never gives it. Maybe in front of him I always like a happy gal, so he never realise that I am sad actually. But I don’t dare to tell him all this things, I scare will spoil his mood, I just hope he will always stay happy. This is me, always want people do something, but I am the one who can’t achieve it.
Two more days, holiday will start soon and he will leave me and back to KL. For the coming two weeks I will be alone, this is what I have chosen, I chose to stay here, my choice, can’t blame anyone and I also won’t ask him to stay here accompany me although sometime I will say like that, but it is actually just a joking. I know he is already long time didn’t go back to his home, he is missing his home and I believe his mother also miss her son so much. From the starting I already know this is a difficult way to go, but I choose to believe, I believe miracle will happen, but I don’t know when is the day, and also I not sure I will maintain until the day come or not, but at least I try already.
I will try to find back the normal me…
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