i am useless

One thing suddenly appear in my mine, why am I so useless?

Seeing everyone beside me had changed a lot, join activities, but still I am alone. Everyday sit in front laptop and playing facebook. Still the same, don’t want to change. I know if I still be like that, I will never succeed in my life.

First of all, join IEM. Thought can get something from there, but it’s seems like not, because of different department, I already ignored by them. Should I quit it or find them in my own? Seriously, I am scare, I scare I can’t communicate with the director.

Second problem, just a registration of the subject. I also can’t decide myself. I am confuse whether I should take this subject or not. 18credits hours, I can handle it or not? I really don’t know and I am loss now. After think for a few hours, finally I didn’t submit the form, which mean I din take the subject again.

I am so regret because last time run away from the OGM of Mandarin class. I know, if that day I didn’t run away, I may get something from there. But now, I get nothing. Even now I have the heart to be tutor again, but I need to think twice, is it I really willing to take out my night time. Still have one week to think.

Maybe I already make a wrong decision since 4years ago. I shouldn’t been kl, I should stay at hometown that time. Why I am here now? Even myself also can’t get an answer.

Aiesec, Exchange, IEM, Choir, Mandarin Class, Golden Key, Jogging and so on. I can’t even joined one of them. Why am I so useless? Who can save me now?