11/04/10

Due to final exam, i have no time to update my blog, even my diary i also have no time to write it.

Today, i finished one more paper, just left one paper-numerical method. I have no mood to study already, keep on thinking what should i do after exam and during the sem break.

Will back home on Saturday, at first i have one plan, but due to some reason, i have to change my plan. Sometime, i will ask myself one question:" Why we always quarrel because of her?" But never, i never get an answer. Again, yesterday we quarrel because of her, maybe i can say not quarrel, just ' bu shuang'.. But i really don't like this feeling, it's hurt.

Next semester get single room, finally i can run away from choosing roommate and i tend to run away from their life, if i needs to face her everyday, i needs to pretend myself everyday, don't like myself become like that, so finally i tell ru the truth that don't wanna stay with them and luckily, ru understand and she stand beside me, not staying with them. Thanks ru!!

Today, after exam, i think a lot, i should not angry because of her anymore. If i continue like that, maybe one day i will lost everything and she will be the winner!! I needs to learn how to become generous, i needs to accept everything, hopefully one day he will realize what i have done...

But this Saturday, no matter how i will follow him back, even i tell myself needs to be generous, but still i can't imagine what will happen if i let both of you back alone. Sorry, i really i can't do that!!

21 of April, it's your birthday, what should i do? Plan to find you, but it's not a easy job, i think i can't go out from home again if i back on Saturday. But this is your first birthday after couple with me, i really hope to celebrate with you, i am wonder if you also have the same feeling??

3 months holiday, how to spend it?
3 months holiday, how could i survive without you?
3 months holiday, how to control myself so that i won't angry with you?
3 months holiday, can you promise me that you will not going out with her anymore?
3 months holiday, can you promise me will contact with me everyday?

I don't like the feeling where everyday i needs to message you but you never message me...