One more day, then we need to separate with each others for 3months.. He is going to China for exchange soon. During the exchange, he cant use the phone and i cant online, i think we will lost contact for at least one month. Don't know how to describe my feeling.. Feel so sad..
Maybe this time is a good time for me to learn the life without him. For me to become much more independent. But actually i don't like, i still like to depend on him. I like the feeling that he give me safety-ness..
What can i do for his birthday? All of my plan has been canceled, i really have no idea, because i scare my idea will be ban again. Sorry, at the end i think i won't celebrate birthday with you.
What will happen tomorrow? What i gonna do tomorrow? I am lost..
For the following 3months, i think i need to start keepfit and make my face back to last time. I really hope that what i want will achieve when the new sem start. Give me some energy to continue it!! Dare to challenge it!!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
11/04/10
Due to final exam, i have no time to update my blog, even my diary i also have no time to write it.
Today, i finished one more paper, just left one paper-numerical method. I have no mood to study already, keep on thinking what should i do after exam and during the sem break.
Will back home on Saturday, at first i have one plan, but due to some reason, i have to change my plan. Sometime, i will ask myself one question:" Why we always quarrel because of her?" But never, i never get an answer. Again, yesterday we quarrel because of her, maybe i can say not quarrel, just ' bu shuang'.. But i really don't like this feeling, it's hurt.
Next semester get single room, finally i can run away from choosing roommate and i tend to run away from their life, if i needs to face her everyday, i needs to pretend myself everyday, don't like myself become like that, so finally i tell ru the truth that don't wanna stay with them and luckily, ru understand and she stand beside me, not staying with them. Thanks ru!!
Today, after exam, i think a lot, i should not angry because of her anymore. If i continue like that, maybe one day i will lost everything and she will be the winner!! I needs to learn how to become generous, i needs to accept everything, hopefully one day he will realize what i have done...
But this Saturday, no matter how i will follow him back, even i tell myself needs to be generous, but still i can't imagine what will happen if i let both of you back alone. Sorry, i really i can't do that!!
21 of April, it's your birthday, what should i do? Plan to find you, but it's not a easy job, i think i can't go out from home again if i back on Saturday. But this is your first birthday after couple with me, i really hope to celebrate with you, i am wonder if you also have the same feeling??
3 months holiday, how to spend it?
3 months holiday, how could i survive without you?
3 months holiday, how to control myself so that i won't angry with you?
3 months holiday, can you promise me that you will not going out with her anymore?
3 months holiday, can you promise me will contact with me everyday?
I don't like the feeling where everyday i needs to message you but you never message me...
Today, i finished one more paper, just left one paper-numerical method. I have no mood to study already, keep on thinking what should i do after exam and during the sem break.
Will back home on Saturday, at first i have one plan, but due to some reason, i have to change my plan. Sometime, i will ask myself one question:" Why we always quarrel because of her?" But never, i never get an answer. Again, yesterday we quarrel because of her, maybe i can say not quarrel, just ' bu shuang'.. But i really don't like this feeling, it's hurt.
Next semester get single room, finally i can run away from choosing roommate and i tend to run away from their life, if i needs to face her everyday, i needs to pretend myself everyday, don't like myself become like that, so finally i tell ru the truth that don't wanna stay with them and luckily, ru understand and she stand beside me, not staying with them. Thanks ru!!
Today, after exam, i think a lot, i should not angry because of her anymore. If i continue like that, maybe one day i will lost everything and she will be the winner!! I needs to learn how to become generous, i needs to accept everything, hopefully one day he will realize what i have done...
But this Saturday, no matter how i will follow him back, even i tell myself needs to be generous, but still i can't imagine what will happen if i let both of you back alone. Sorry, i really i can't do that!!
21 of April, it's your birthday, what should i do? Plan to find you, but it's not a easy job, i think i can't go out from home again if i back on Saturday. But this is your first birthday after couple with me, i really hope to celebrate with you, i am wonder if you also have the same feeling??
3 months holiday, how to spend it?
3 months holiday, how could i survive without you?
3 months holiday, how to control myself so that i won't angry with you?
3 months holiday, can you promise me that you will not going out with her anymore?
3 months holiday, can you promise me will contact with me everyday?
I don't like the feeling where everyday i needs to message you but you never message me...
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