Time now is 10.00am, will having my first consultation one by one face to face with my lecturer, very gan jeong.. still thinking what should i talk later. Come psz so early, hope can get some ling gan here, but still my brain is blank now.
English final presentation is coming soon, i haven't prepare my script, haven't do my slide.. No idea about the presentation. Hope to do a perfect presentation, but it's too hard. I have not enough time already, 4days time, no enough for me to memorize the script until lecturer can't feel that i'm memorize. This time maybe try to talk slow slow, this is what i get from him and i also feel myself talk too fast because too gan jeong.
Sei fo, feel headache now, for sure is not enough sleep. Yesterday at 3something, wake up at 7.30am today, 4hours sleeping, where got enough. I am wonder why i want to make myself trouble, spend a lot of time for it and finally make myself sad only. I think i should not think about the past thing!!
Yesterday is daddy birthday, for the first time i call my daddy when his birthday. I can feel his happiness, before i call back my brother have call back too. If i can back home give him a surprise, then for sure he will more surprise! But so sad, because of EMT, i cant back home.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
18/03/2010
this Saturday will be my English consultation day with my English lecturer, Mr. Amir. due to information from others who had done the the consultation, they say it si just a normal conversation. Normal conversation? Means i need to talk a lot rather than he talk. He already told us that he will evaluate according how well we can express ourselves.
Have no idea what to talk at that day. What i had learn due from this course?? No doubt, i had learned a lot things from Mr. Amir. I'm thinking to do something to improved my English, but still i cant get the idea. Maybe can ask opinion from him during the consultation.
Although i know it's very difficult to get an A, but still i wishes i get can an A, i wishes to get RM700 from UTM again. With this RM700, i can do a lot of things. The most important is that i can prove to my parents that study really get earn money.
Yesterday my mother call me again, at first we are talking with good feeling, but at the end when she told me that her leg was pain again until can't walk, and needs to eat a lot of medicine, then i feel guilty again. Although she does not asking me to back home, but know what she want, i know what my father and my sister want me to do.
Mother complaint younger brother choose to work at KL also don't want to back hone help in shop. This complaint actually indirectly point to me again. Maybe i think too much already, but i really can't control mr\y thinking. Always be pessimistic, can't have an optimistic thinking. I think i needs causeling.
I am a kind of person who don't know how to express my feeling. In front of friends, i can pretend myself very good. Don't know who can i talk with?? It is difficult for me to trust a person. From the experience, i don't think that is a real friend in this world. Everyone is selfish, including myself!! The person i can trust is just myself, no matter how sad am i, i still needs to pretend.
Have no idea what to talk at that day. What i had learn due from this course?? No doubt, i had learned a lot things from Mr. Amir. I'm thinking to do something to improved my English, but still i cant get the idea. Maybe can ask opinion from him during the consultation.
Although i know it's very difficult to get an A, but still i wishes i get can an A, i wishes to get RM700 from UTM again. With this RM700, i can do a lot of things. The most important is that i can prove to my parents that study really get earn money.
Yesterday my mother call me again, at first we are talking with good feeling, but at the end when she told me that her leg was pain again until can't walk, and needs to eat a lot of medicine, then i feel guilty again. Although she does not asking me to back home, but know what she want, i know what my father and my sister want me to do.
Mother complaint younger brother choose to work at KL also don't want to back hone help in shop. This complaint actually indirectly point to me again. Maybe i think too much already, but i really can't control mr\y thinking. Always be pessimistic, can't have an optimistic thinking. I think i needs causeling.
I am a kind of person who don't know how to express my feeling. In front of friends, i can pretend myself very good. Don't know who can i talk with?? It is difficult for me to trust a person. From the experience, i don't think that is a real friend in this world. Everyone is selfish, including myself!! The person i can trust is just myself, no matter how sad am i, i still needs to pretend.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
03/03/10
Yesterday did not write diary.. haha starting lazy liao.. today just have one hour class. 7.15am wake up and arrive FKE at 8am. Finished class at 9am then having breakfast at FKE after that back to college. This is the first time I went back college after class on Wednesday, the feeling is difference from the others day. But today time pass very slow, don’t know what to do in room. Eat a lot of thing, oh no, will become fat fat leh. Afternoon having lunch at café, this café is so weird, last week I took the same meal as today, but last week charge me RM2 today charge me RM2.70. Haiz, 70 cent different, don’t know how they count.
At afternoon, plan to study EMT but just study awhile already very bored and fall asleep at 4pm like that. Wake up at 5something and prepare going out for dinner. Waiting for a long time, until 7pm, I call him and only I know that he went to aiesec meeting but never inform me before. Again, he still the same. At first, I really very angry but after think awhile angry also useless, he won’t change. Maybe I am the person who needs to change everyday saying that I want to be more independent, but still I can’t.
Just now he told me that he was apply for the director. It’s time for me to adapt that he will be much busier than now. Every time after aiesec activities he will look like very tired and his mood will become not good, I hate this happen!!
This few weeks always quarrels, he will never changed although I told him many time, in contrast he will say I am always complaining. This is what he say one, he say everything must say it out, but when I say it out, he will feel unhappy. Please teach me?? What should I do??
At afternoon, plan to study EMT but just study awhile already very bored and fall asleep at 4pm like that. Wake up at 5something and prepare going out for dinner. Waiting for a long time, until 7pm, I call him and only I know that he went to aiesec meeting but never inform me before. Again, he still the same. At first, I really very angry but after think awhile angry also useless, he won’t change. Maybe I am the person who needs to change everyday saying that I want to be more independent, but still I can’t.
Just now he told me that he was apply for the director. It’s time for me to adapt that he will be much busier than now. Every time after aiesec activities he will look like very tired and his mood will become not good, I hate this happen!!
This few weeks always quarrels, he will never changed although I told him many time, in contrast he will say I am always complaining. This is what he say one, he say everything must say it out, but when I say it out, he will feel unhappy. Please teach me?? What should I do??
Monday, March 1, 2010
01/03/10
Today is first of March, a new month for me. Actually nothing special, same as normal, study, lunch and sleep. Today's class almost cancel all, for the first time our english lecturer cancel the class, i think maybe he is sick. LE lecturer teach one hour only, pcomm don't know teach what, but she is finished chapter5 already. Since pcomm test is just cover chapter4, so i really can put all of my effort on emt after tomorrow microp quiz. whole afternoon stay at psz to finished up the emt chapter7, cause i have no laptoop to copy if i back to hostel. That's good also, library environment is quite good, got air-conditioner and i will not feel sleepy. I thought i cant copy all, but in fact i finished it when the time is still early. So i went back hostel to prepare for night class.
Went to library again at 5.45pm, cause want to save petrol. About 6.30pm, went out for dinner, who knows receive message from li ting sating that english class was cancelled. Wah, this is really the first time... we went number1 for dinner cause many place didn't open. Nanny them come join us after a few minutes. Although we are the same table, but we talk less and finally we go first.
Don't know why, not like to talk too much. Maybe i really not like her, but need to pretend i'm good with her. Oh no!! i start pretending myself! How come?? I don't want this happen ok??
I trying to accept her as my friend, but it's difficult, i really don't like she always close to fai especially when she is talking with him. Don't know why she always like to touch him.. i know i can't complaint anymore, if not fai will say i'm stingy. So i jusy can keep it in my heart or express it at here. What i can do is just accept, accept and also accept. Nothing i can do.. But please don't be too over ok?! Please think of me when you do something. and i know yesterday is my wrong, sorry for that...
Today closed the account for february. Omg, i spend about RM600 during february. how come? And the total i spend from this semester is about RM3500. If i'm taking PTPTN, how can i survive??This month cannnot spend that much already. Must control yourself, need to think before you buy something...
Went to library again at 5.45pm, cause want to save petrol. About 6.30pm, went out for dinner, who knows receive message from li ting sating that english class was cancelled. Wah, this is really the first time... we went number1 for dinner cause many place didn't open. Nanny them come join us after a few minutes. Although we are the same table, but we talk less and finally we go first.
Don't know why, not like to talk too much. Maybe i really not like her, but need to pretend i'm good with her. Oh no!! i start pretending myself! How come?? I don't want this happen ok??
I trying to accept her as my friend, but it's difficult, i really don't like she always close to fai especially when she is talking with him. Don't know why she always like to touch him.. i know i can't complaint anymore, if not fai will say i'm stingy. So i jusy can keep it in my heart or express it at here. What i can do is just accept, accept and also accept. Nothing i can do.. But please don't be too over ok?! Please think of me when you do something. and i know yesterday is my wrong, sorry for that...
Today closed the account for february. Omg, i spend about RM600 during february. how come? And the total i spend from this semester is about RM3500. If i'm taking PTPTN, how can i survive??This month cannnot spend that much already. Must control yourself, need to think before you buy something...
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