心太软

为什么总是过不了自己那关，答应自己的事总是食言，我真的真的不想再过这样的生活了。为了这个男人，我已经找不回自己了。

从来吵架不会主动道歉的我，
从来不会主动牵男友手的我，
从来不会主动kiss男友的我，
从来不会主动抱着男友的我，
从来不会为了男友减肥的我，
从来不会为了男友下厨的我，
从来不会和男友抢付钱的我。

这样的我早在两年前就已经不存在了，
我天真的以为这样的改变能够打动他，
我天真的以为这样的改变就有机会当他一生的女人，
但我好像错了。

前几天，才和朋友说他改变了，要求他给我GoodBye Kiss 的时候他总是会给我。话才说完一天没到，事情就改变了。这一次，他非但不给，而且还不理我。

就算他不给我面子，当着他朋友的面前打我，我还是给足他面子，不生气他。
就算他很用力的关我车门，我很生气，我还是忍着不生气。
就算他说别人煮的食物比较好吃，我还是接受。

不过，我说过很多很多次了，无论你怎样对我都没关系，但请不要在我跟你说话的时候假装听不到，不理我。

始终他还是没把我说过的话放在心上。

当时的情况真的让我觉得自己很下贱，很下贱，真的很下贱，真的很想撞墙死了算了！

女人，什么时候你才会清醒，不要再让爱情失去自我了。
一个让你流泪的男人，不值得你这样对待他。

Troubleshooting= Trouble Shoot Back

This year during his birthday, I insists to ask help from Michelle to buy a cake for him since I have no time to buy it and I know he wanted a cake for his birthday.

And because of this reason, now I have to torture myself. He not only buy cake for other girls in front of me, he left the cake inside my car but did not asking me to help him sent to her.

I just wonder why boyfriend will ask his girlfriend to pass a cake to another girl. Although we are friend, but sorry, I am not that kind of generous people. Seriously, have a moment I think of not to pass the cake to her and let it inside my car. But in the end, don't know why I still pass it to her room although I am not happy with it.

In the night, he told me that he just want to thanks for her because celebrate his birthday this year, but why don't you tell me when you buy the cake? Although I know the reason, but why you can't tell me in front of me, always telling me using sms or email? 

I know, coming days will have more people birthday, another 4 times to go. 

It suppose to be a good day, but because of some stupid reason, we almost quarrel again. Seriously I hate quarrel:(

I just wonder why I always be so good to others, but feels like they won't treat me the same as I treat them.
Friends like that,
Now boyfriend also like that.

Friends, ask me to help them buy things, but never pay me the money. Why should I do all those things for you all? Waste my time and money as well!!
Friends, ask me help them doing something, teach them something, but it the end still blame on me.

Boyfriend, thought wanna help him to save money by cook for him frequently, not only did not appreciate it, but still saying that I am trying to let him get away from their course-mate. Since he already say like that, then I won't cook anymore.
It is a promise to myself. But before this I have to eat all the vegetables (if not because of what he say the day before, I wont buy so many different type of vege), I don't want to waste my money.

Just realize how stupid am I. Suddenly know why my money in Bank become lesser and lesser.

I will never try to troubleshoot a stupid problem anymore!