Monday management presentation reallya bad presentation. It not only spoiled my mood, it also make me feels so sorry to him. Lose face in front of him and lost his face. No doubt, I still need more practise. Wish me all the best for coming Microe Presentation~~
Really so my dear:(
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Stupid
I know I am stupid, but I just wish to give myself a chance.
Make a decision: Give her 5 chance to hurt me.
First time: Laugh me inside the class.
Second time: Not only using me to let mother and boyfriend allow you to work at Penang but also do not keep the promise. You are the person who ask me to help you keep the secret, don't tell others that you will work at Penang, but the next day, you post it at Facebook and show off inside the class. Seriously I feels like you are betraying me.
Three more chances...
Make a decision: Give her 5 chance to hurt me.
First time: Laugh me inside the class.
Second time: Not only using me to let mother and boyfriend allow you to work at Penang but also do not keep the promise. You are the person who ask me to help you keep the secret, don't tell others that you will work at Penang, but the next day, you post it at Facebook and show off inside the class. Seriously I feels like you are betraying me.
Three more chances...
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
I Know
Suddenly he decided not to join our GOP to Australia but joined Cyrus to Taiwan. Again, my wish to travel together is gone. When the first time he say he want join us, I really very happy and try hard to get the permission from my course mate so that he can join us. At first it was rejected by my course mate and I don’t know how to tell him scare he will sad. In the end when my course mates accepted him but he going to reject us. I understand the reason he reject so I also don’t want argue with him, just felt disappointed.
And now he want join Cyrus to Taiwan. I not really happy with that, but again I know there is no point to voice out such stupid thinking. It’s his freedom. Have an idea to join Cyrus one, so that we can go together. But I really wish to go Australia, at the same time he never asks me to go together with him. Maybe he knows that I wish to go Australia so doesn’t want to destroy my plan or maybe he wishes to have some personal time.
Internship, I know he would like to stay at KL, I know he would like to do his intern at company that he like, I know GE is more suitable than Intel, I know he will never go to Penang because of me, I know he will never accompany me go to Penang although he know I needs to travel all the way to Penang alone and I also know he will never know what am I worry about. I know all of these facts, so I believe that he will make a wise decision. As for the good of his future, I will encourage him to go GE, I don’t want be so selfish ask him to go Intel just to fulfil my desire although Intel also a good company.
Get to know most of the people are going to work at KL, envy with them. Because I am sure that they will meet up during weekends. But nothing I can do, staying alone in Penang, although there’s many other colleagues but I know he don’t like me to be too close with them. Without boyfriend, friends and most important things is without WIFI. How I survive in such situation? Countdown 55days.
And now he want join Cyrus to Taiwan. I not really happy with that, but again I know there is no point to voice out such stupid thinking. It’s his freedom. Have an idea to join Cyrus one, so that we can go together. But I really wish to go Australia, at the same time he never asks me to go together with him. Maybe he knows that I wish to go Australia so doesn’t want to destroy my plan or maybe he wishes to have some personal time.
Internship, I know he would like to stay at KL, I know he would like to do his intern at company that he like, I know GE is more suitable than Intel, I know he will never go to Penang because of me, I know he will never accompany me go to Penang although he know I needs to travel all the way to Penang alone and I also know he will never know what am I worry about. I know all of these facts, so I believe that he will make a wise decision. As for the good of his future, I will encourage him to go GE, I don’t want be so selfish ask him to go Intel just to fulfil my desire although Intel also a good company.
Get to know most of the people are going to work at KL, envy with them. Because I am sure that they will meet up during weekends. But nothing I can do, staying alone in Penang, although there’s many other colleagues but I know he don’t like me to be too close with them. Without boyfriend, friends and most important things is without WIFI. How I survive in such situation? Countdown 55days.
Monday, March 21, 2011
What the ****
为什么这个世界上会有这样的人？都已经分手六年了，为什么还是不肯离开我的世界？N年前，给他骂了一次还不够吗？那时候不就说好了再也不联络了不再有任何联系了吗？可为什么你不守承诺？而且还要涉及我的家人？
老天爷，我只是当年踏错一步而已，做了一次傻事，后来我已经知错了，也得到了惩罚，可为什么你还要这样对我呢？
那天听到他结婚的消息还心想一切的一切真的都结束了。可为什么事实不是那样？为什么他们吵架要特地大老远驾车到我家门前吵？左邻右舍还以为我是介入他们婚姻的第三者。我在N年前就已经不再和他有任何瓜葛了，为什么他们还是不要放过我？是我当年处理得不当吗？是我的错吗？我应该再次出面处理这件事吗？如果再这样下去的话，我真的不知道会发生什么事，我真的很担心。可是我真的不想再见到这个人，不过我也不想他们去打扰我家人。就快疯掉了！
很想跟他诉苦，可是见他最近已经够烦了，而且他说他很想一个星期不要烦东西和这关系着我和前前男友的事，不知他是否会介意，所以多一事不如少一事。可是我到底该怎么解决这件事呢？有谁可以帮我出面，求求他不要再把我牵涉进他的生活了好吗？不要再提以前的事了好吗？算我求求你了T.T
老天爷，我只是当年踏错一步而已，做了一次傻事，后来我已经知错了，也得到了惩罚，可为什么你还要这样对我呢？
那天听到他结婚的消息还心想一切的一切真的都结束了。可为什么事实不是那样？为什么他们吵架要特地大老远驾车到我家门前吵？左邻右舍还以为我是介入他们婚姻的第三者。我在N年前就已经不再和他有任何瓜葛了，为什么他们还是不要放过我？是我当年处理得不当吗？是我的错吗？我应该再次出面处理这件事吗？如果再这样下去的话，我真的不知道会发生什么事，我真的很担心。可是我真的不想再见到这个人，不过我也不想他们去打扰我家人。就快疯掉了！
很想跟他诉苦，可是见他最近已经够烦了，而且他说他很想一个星期不要烦东西和这关系着我和前前男友的事，不知他是否会介意，所以多一事不如少一事。可是我到底该怎么解决这件事呢？有谁可以帮我出面，求求他不要再把我牵涉进他的生活了好吗？不要再提以前的事了好吗？算我求求你了T.T
Sunday, March 13, 2011
我的问题
在八个小时后的旅程，终于爸爸把车驾到UTM了。大老远来到Johor，都没说两句话就走了。说真的，那个时候真的还有点生气他，如果不是他不愿意陪我，那我就可以和爸妈相聚更久的时间了。
星期五早上看到他穿半formal，一度认为他会陪我去见爸妈，原来我想多了，他只是为了他的Aiesec准备突如齐来的Appointment。对他那么有信心，结果他还是让我失望了。
这次明明就很简单，不用去我家，就那几个小时，真的那么难吗？为什么他就是不珍惜眼前的机会？爸妈也以为那天他会出现的，结果却看到我一个人大老远拿着大书包走着来。本来还以为他没陪我回家的坏印象可以在他陪我去见爸妈后改变的，谁知道结果竟然是这样。
从来爸妈都不曾承认我有男友的事实，真的很难的这次他们可以接受我有男友的事实，可是他却让机会一次又一次的流逝。
爸爸的一句：
“叫你朋友载你来找我们。”
让我不知所措，不知道怎样告诉爸爸他不愿意见他们。
再来妈妈的一句：
“为什么你朋友这样，没有陪你？”
让我开始害怕了。
或许是我想太远了吧，一直都把他认定是终生伴侣，所以希望能够早点得到爸妈的认同。
当初他告诉过我他还没准备好，我们也为此事吵了几次架。而那时我也明白他的感受。
可现在不是过了很久了吗？都一起一年多了，我还以为是时候了呢，原来他并没有这个想法吧。他还是抗拒和我家人见面。
或许吧，就好像他说的，如果我家人问他：“为什么要跟这么丑的我在一起？”他不会回答。同样的，不能带我回他家也是因为这个原因。所以说到底还是我的错，我不会责怪他，因为就连我自己都觉得自己很丑。这样丑的女人怎么可以带回家。
丑、丑、丑！！
每次都告诉他，我会好的，给我时间，可是事实证明时间也是无法改变一切，我还是个丑女人。就算我对他千依百顺，最终问题还是会因为我的痘痘而出现T_T
为了痘痘，什么方法都试过了，但是却还是失望而归。感觉自己好像骗了他一年多了，我知道他愿意等，但要等到什么时候呢？我已经没有信心说它会好的了。很累，真的很累了。。。
星期五早上看到他穿半formal，一度认为他会陪我去见爸妈，原来我想多了，他只是为了他的Aiesec准备突如齐来的Appointment。对他那么有信心，结果他还是让我失望了。
这次明明就很简单，不用去我家，就那几个小时，真的那么难吗？为什么他就是不珍惜眼前的机会？爸妈也以为那天他会出现的，结果却看到我一个人大老远拿着大书包走着来。本来还以为他没陪我回家的坏印象可以在他陪我去见爸妈后改变的，谁知道结果竟然是这样。
从来爸妈都不曾承认我有男友的事实，真的很难的这次他们可以接受我有男友的事实，可是他却让机会一次又一次的流逝。
爸爸的一句：
“叫你朋友载你来找我们。”
让我不知所措，不知道怎样告诉爸爸他不愿意见他们。
再来妈妈的一句：
“为什么你朋友这样，没有陪你？”
让我开始害怕了。
或许是我想太远了吧，一直都把他认定是终生伴侣，所以希望能够早点得到爸妈的认同。
当初他告诉过我他还没准备好，我们也为此事吵了几次架。而那时我也明白他的感受。
可现在不是过了很久了吗？都一起一年多了，我还以为是时候了呢，原来他并没有这个想法吧。他还是抗拒和我家人见面。
或许吧，就好像他说的，如果我家人问他：“为什么要跟这么丑的我在一起？”他不会回答。同样的，不能带我回他家也是因为这个原因。所以说到底还是我的错，我不会责怪他，因为就连我自己都觉得自己很丑。这样丑的女人怎么可以带回家。
丑、丑、丑！！
每次都告诉他，我会好的，给我时间，可是事实证明时间也是无法改变一切，我还是个丑女人。就算我对他千依百顺，最终问题还是会因为我的痘痘而出现T_T
为了痘痘，什么方法都试过了，但是却还是失望而归。感觉自己好像骗了他一年多了，我知道他愿意等，但要等到什么时候呢？我已经没有信心说它会好的了。很累，真的很累了。。。
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Selfish daughter + Good daddy
Feels like I am such a failure person. Can't find anyone to accompany me back home and drive the car here even my boyfriend, he rather go member's day also don't want accompany me back home.
But I won't blame him, because that's not his responsible and it's really a long journey. I always try hard to let my parents have a good impression on him, but I know this time was give a bad impression to my parents.
What to say, just can blame on myself why I am so dependent and make my father not allow me to drive here alone. Finally my father have to help me drive car here.
Happy because I have a good daddy, but at the same time feels guilty, because it will be a long journey and my daddy will not feeling well when he sit in bus, plus he needs to back home alone :(
Why I am so bad? Daddy already prepared the car, but I can't go back and take it myself.
A selfish daughter :(
But I won't blame him, because that's not his responsible and it's really a long journey. I always try hard to let my parents have a good impression on him, but I know this time was give a bad impression to my parents.
What to say, just can blame on myself why I am so dependent and make my father not allow me to drive here alone. Finally my father have to help me drive car here.
Happy because I have a good daddy, but at the same time feels guilty, because it will be a long journey and my daddy will not feeling well when he sit in bus, plus he needs to back home alone :(
Why I am so bad? Daddy already prepared the car, but I can't go back and take it myself.
A selfish daughter :(
Friday, March 4, 2011
Nothing
Feels like nothing to do these few day, don't know what to do inside the room. Everyday online, sleep and eat only. Don't like such life.
Finally new car is come to my home already. But nobody want to accompany me back home drive here. Is it I really need to back home and drive here alone? Ask him for many times already, but he din give me any response, I know, maybe he still not prepare to meet my family yet. I don't want to force him.
Final exam time table was came out, not really like the time table, hopefully it can be change. Really need some time to prepare before start the industry training. Another thing is because his final until 9 of May only, what a big gap.
Still thinking if I want to stay together with them or not. Maybe I will be the only gal who stay with them, feels like not that good from his point of view. Sometime will feels like a bit regret to apply Intel. Because I know I will be very stress when they become my colleagues since they are really geng!! But sometime I will think in another way. One of the reason I choose SEW is because I wish to work at Intel for a long time. I should not give up this opportunity to make my dream come true, although it is just internship. Finally, I had decided, since I already got the offer from them, then I just try to do my best, it is no point for me to think of regret.
Don't know if he will get Intel or not.
But I think he not really like to go Intel, because it is quite far away from his home.
Suddenly feels like actually I am quite independent. Although I am came from Perak, but I was leave my home since 17years old. I know, everything were changed in the moment that I decided to go Nasional Service at Kelantan for 3months. If not because of this reason, I think I don't dare to go KL for 3years, and come to Johor for another 3years. And now I am going to Penang 10weeks for internship. The next is I wish I can go travel out of Malaysia. Hope this dream will come true very soon :)
Finally new car is come to my home already. But nobody want to accompany me back home drive here. Is it I really need to back home and drive here alone? Ask him for many times already, but he din give me any response, I know, maybe he still not prepare to meet my family yet. I don't want to force him.
Final exam time table was came out, not really like the time table, hopefully it can be change. Really need some time to prepare before start the industry training. Another thing is because his final until 9 of May only, what a big gap.
Still thinking if I want to stay together with them or not. Maybe I will be the only gal who stay with them, feels like not that good from his point of view. Sometime will feels like a bit regret to apply Intel. Because I know I will be very stress when they become my colleagues since they are really geng!! But sometime I will think in another way. One of the reason I choose SEW is because I wish to work at Intel for a long time. I should not give up this opportunity to make my dream come true, although it is just internship. Finally, I had decided, since I already got the offer from them, then I just try to do my best, it is no point for me to think of regret.
Don't know if he will get Intel or not.
But I think he not really like to go Intel, because it is quite far away from his home.
Suddenly feels like actually I am quite independent. Although I am came from Perak, but I was leave my home since 17years old. I know, everything were changed in the moment that I decided to go Nasional Service at Kelantan for 3months. If not because of this reason, I think I don't dare to go KL for 3years, and come to Johor for another 3years. And now I am going to Penang 10weeks for internship. The next is I wish I can go travel out of Malaysia. Hope this dream will come true very soon :)
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