我的心好痛

我的心好痛好痛，
为什么他总是可以这样对我？
而我却可以一次又一次的当做没事发生？
现在看会那些短信，
我才发现一直以来都是自己一厢情愿，
对他的好，
他从来都没有放在心上过。

从一开始很单纯的心，
我从来没想过自己会被他伤害，
我以为我们只是朋友，
我以为我们不会发展，
我更以为自己不会对他动心。

但是这几天发生的事，
让我开始怀疑自己的心了，
为什么当他叫我去做别人的车时我会伤心，失望？
为什么当他说了一句我们没有关系时我的心会痛？
为什么当他说了一句明天我不要载你的时候我又会伤心？
为什么当他说了一句以后不要再说这句话后我从此就不再说那句话？
为什么当他没心情的时候我会忍不住想安慰他？
为什么当他说他会去那晚餐的时候我又再次的伤心？
为什么当他说要载我出去的时候我会如此的高兴？明明就那十分钟车程。
为什么当他帮我选号码的时候我会很开心？
为什么当我们俩单独出去的时候我心情就很好？
为什么我的心情完完全全的被他影响着？
为什么我会时时刻刻的想念着他？
为什么？为什么？为什么？
我不想爱上一个不爱我的人！
最后受伤的将会是我自己！！！

最后两天了，
我还在期待些什么？
期待他会送我回去？
期待和他一起？
别再妄想了，
你没有继续升学，
不只放弃了学业，
也放弃了寻找大学生男友的梦想了！！！

if you know you cant see that person again,will you be his girl friend?
someone ask me this question,
dono how to answer him.
but if this happen on me,
and both of us loving each others,
then i will accept it...
i will trying my best to remain a "long distance love"

everyone think it is difficult to remain a long distance love,
but for me,
that is no problem with it...
the problem is only maybe the guy have a problem with that...

i dono how to describe our relationship,
both of us go for movie,
he treat me for a movie;
i called him for one and a half hour during his birthday,
he called me back one hour,
that is the first time he talk through call for about 2hour,
his record only half an hour;
he accompany me to find my brother,
but he din't help me take the laptop,
then we go for movie again;
sometime he will give me a kiss symbol through sms,
sometime i called him as dear.
i felt sad and hurt when he talk or sms with the gal who love him,
i felt angry when he ask me to sit other's car just cause the gal want to sit his car;
he say he got no feeling throughout her,
but sometime i feel that he had,
maybe he din't realise...

i want to end this game,
i scared a cant control myself,
i am the person who start this game,
so now is the time to finished it by myself...

i will not go skudai to futher my studies,
he will go UM,
i cant fall in love on him!!
please control your feeling!
STOP IT!

diploma life

finally finished my diploma life...

don't what's next..

where should i go...

probably will back, and wont come again...